The Real Reasons We Lost

In the World Cup wash-up I figured it would be pointless adding my two cents worth. Much better to wait for the dust to settle and some up with some reasoned analysis for the dismal All Black performance.

So, I have listened to all the theories thrown about and I would like to start by discounting a couple:

1. The Ref: Yes he was poor, but he wasn't the reason
2. The Coaching Staff: Yes, they didn't coach drop goals or have a plan B but we should have won the game by then anyway.
3. Rotation and Reconditioning: Quite obviously not all the popular with fans, but that fact remains, we had ample depth and plenty of braun, just no brains.

No, the real reasons are as follows:

1. Carl Hayman's Beard

Would you fuck with this man?

The big man is just like Samson, the All Blacks don't lose when he is looking grizzly. What was with the clean shaven look?
I'm not alone in this summation, in fact check out with very good site dedicated to the cult of Haymen's facial hair.

2. Dave Dobbyn

Now, hands up which idiot decided to play "Slice of Heaven" every time the All Blacks ran in a try. Not only is it painful to listen to once, but after the amount of times the ABs heard it trouncing Portugal, Italy and Romania its no wonder they were a little try shy against France.

3. Adidas

Yes, the modern All Blacks are little more than marketing muscles packaged in black Lycra. Not only do they look a little silly in some of the supposed super-dooper jerseys, but the whole campaign backing them was cringe-worthy. What the hell were they thinking digging up sections of dirt from all over New Zealand and taking it to France with them. If you are unsure what I am referring to please read this.

And, it gets worse. Before each game, Richie McCaw would take a handful of specially mixed New Zealand dirt and sprinkle it on the ground where they were playing. What the f..k?

If there is any evidence that Mr McCaw should not be captain it is right there.

Just to make this point loud and clear the poster accompanying this fraught exercise if thoroughly ridiculous. Boycott Adidas now!

Nine go mad on the Breaksea

Some wise person once said to me, who has time to read blogs..let alone write them. Indeed, I have to concur. Blogging of late has been pretty difficult with all the small film making projects I have loaded myself up with. The latest act of self-prostitution involved getting invited to document a 6 day trip aboard the Breaksea Girl around Dusky, Breaksea and Doubtful Sounds.

Too good an opportunity to pass up so I talked nicely to the NHNZ production team I am working with and skipped out of the office with a camera and lost of wet weather gear. The trip was organised by the Caselberg Trust who assembled a group of well known local artists who will deliver a piece of work inspired by the voyage at a function in October next year. Not only was the trip completely spontaneous for me, I was also underdone in my knowledge of the area. From the captivating scenery which never let up, to the weather that was, WET, I engaged in a crash course of knowledge via the well stocked library on board. With captain Lance Shaw at the helm, we visited historic locations such as Astronomers Point, the Endeavour Wreck Site, the site of the first European house in New Zealand, Richard Henry's island and most importantly the site of the first beer brewed in New Zealand.

The artists themsleves were a diverse group with such interesting work. From the manic painting of Wayne Seyb who proved that painting in rain can be a liberating experience to the fascinating line drawings and words of Gregory O'Brien I was both in awe and slightly frustrated at how media shy these people were. Gradually they warmed to my ever present camera and if I ever got bored documenting the never ending waterfalls, storm sequences, seals, dolphins and rainbows I could always turn to Nigel Brown for a good soundbite. With any luck, the images will be an impressive as those etched on my memory.

Simply put, that area of Fiordland is awe-inspiring and I am incredibly fortunate to have seen it.

Well, its now many months later and I have finally loaded the video produced on the trip into YouTube.